This is the last of the "Know What I Mean" series.  The series will remain on the web site for several months and then will archived. 

Friday, September 11, 2009

“Know What I Mean ….”

Goodbye, So Long, Farewell …

is the title of the last episode of MASH.  It was a wonderful show about saying goodbye as the 4077 MASH unit left Korea after the signing of the armistice.  In the show the characters all said goodbye in their own way, reminding us that there is no single right way to leave.  However, they all acknowledged their grief and loss as they came to the close of this era in their lives.  Today is such a day for us.  This is my last day at Faith.  The office is bare.  (Some might say it is finally clean.)  The boxes are packed.  And, I am writing my last e-votion as the Associate Pastor.  It is the end of an era in our lives together, but it is not the end.

Saying goodbye is a normal part of life.  We do not necessarily like it, but it is necessary.  All of us have to say goodbye and pass through the emotions of loss and grief.  None of us escape this reality.  Think about it.  One of most powerful aspects of the Sacrament of Baptism in infant baptism is letting go of the baby.  In past centuries often the first time the mother and father had let another person hold their child was when the pastor baptized the infant.  Imagine what it was like for parents as the pastor presented the child to the congregation, reminding us all that this child is now a responsibility of the community of faith, not just the parents.  The parents were, in a small way, beginning the process of saying goodbye to their child. 

Today family experts accurately teach us that the goal of parenting is to work ourselves out of a job.  Our children are to grow up, become independent, productive members of society.  We have to let them go.  We have to say goodbye to them.  While at Faith, Deb and I have said goodbye to our last two kids.  Aly went to Purdue and then got married.  While she lives only 12 miles away, we still had to let her go.  Jeff joined the Army, has gone to South Carolina, Texas, Korea and now Oklahoma.  Again, it was a process of saying goodbye.  Children need to leave home, parents need to let go and we all need to learn how to say goodbye in an authentic, productive way.  This will be a great gift to all of us as we say goodbye to friends, family and colleagues along life’s journey.

Jesus shows us how to do this.  John 14:1-17:26 is known as “the farewell discourse.”  In this section of scripture Jesus offers his disciples encouragement beginning with the words “Let not your hearts be troubled; believe in God, believe also in me.”  (John 14:1)  He reminds them that they are not alone and that the Spirit will come to them.  Yet, he also tells them the truth saying to them, “I will no longer talk much with you.”  Jesus acknowledges his grief and the grief of those listening to him.  He gives them words of hope and then he prays.  Jesus teaches us that grief is rooted in love as we let go of those who are dear to us.  All of this is a solid, faithful model for the ways in which we are to handle our emotions when it comes to saying goodbye.

The truth is I am leaving Faith.  I will deeply miss all of you.  This has been a wonderful 5+ years of ministry.  As I sit in this empty office I have a hole in my gut and a bit of a lump in my throat.  There is a sense of accomplishment mixed with some dreams that will go unrealized.  Perhaps that is the toughest part of saying goodbye; the mixed feelings.  The part of us that wants to hang on to what has become familiar and comfortable mixed with the part of us that is excited about a new adventure.  This makes saying goodbye emotionally and spiritually difficult and complicated.  Yet, it must be done.

Therefore, on this day as we go separate ways, I pray that all goes well for each of you and for Faith.  As the church continues to prepare for new leadership, I hope that you all will find a new sense of commitment, step up to the plate and work hard to make Faith into a stellar community of faith.  As Jesus reminds us, may we all abide (live) in the love that God gives us in Jesus and may we share this love with others.

Several years ago the Presbyterian Church published an excellent video study series called, “You Can’t Say Hello, Until You’ve Said Goodbye.”  The series shows us how life is made up of a series of helloes and goodbyes.  It reminds us of the loss we feel, and the gains we receive through this ongoing life process.  In the end it reminds us that every ending is a new beginning.

Today, while it is an ending, it is also a beginning.  May we walk forward in the faith, hope and love of God in Jesus Christ as we step into a new beginning.  Amen.